IT's ALL ABOUT MINDS!!!!

 Though we, humans live in one single world, we have our own rules and regulations, policies to follow, limitations to keep and commitments to be taken care of. We decide the right and wrong things. Unfortunately, we call the wrong as the evil and the bad. So people who do our ‘wrong’ actions become bad to us and obviously people who did our ‘right’ things become good and our friends. And that’s why a sex worker, a thief, a porn artist are considered to be bad.

It was always easier for human beings to blame someone(born defect) without considering the root causes. May be yes, a sex worker is a bad job in our perception. But situations had led them that way. I am not in support for a sex worker. But I mean to say we create the situation. Our actions, behaviour , beliefs , rules and policies do. If men were able to control their desperation for flesh, if one man had a heart to not put her in a brothel, in turn if that man had not been pressurized to pay his debts, in turn if he had not born poor, or if one woman had not been pulled in a situation to start a brothel, sexworkers would never have come. We call it fate.

We humans are linked .Each and everyone. Each of our action create ripples that is responsible for the happenings around us. Let it be one negative thought we put on a person. It travels a big chain ruining atleast one person’s life in the way. We feel easy to blame them and they feel easy to blame GOD and FATE. Is it that easy to blame someone who doesn’t speak back? Blame your stars , blame the date you were born in,blame the astrology. We blame until we are exhausted never knowing it started with one among us. Human minds doubt and never have a stop to negativity. Is it all that difficult to take a positive action, plant a positive thought whenever negativity surfs in. Is it difficult to follow compassion?
Or are we afraid to follow it fearing we would be dumped? Fearing the world is a hell already?

I have questions. They were not fools who told “Life is in your hands”, “Your thoughts make your life.”.They did have a meanings. A positive thought, a positive action, a help, a decision to stop blaming, a decision to do will all cause ripples. Ripples that vibrates across the world. It will be back, when we need them. It is all about MINDS- THE GOD. !!

Prove to whom?

My mother was sitting on the couch drowned deep in her thoughts, her face upset than ever. Some women in home find reasons to be upset and my mother had joined the club long ago but this time with a new reason in the hit list.One of my uncles turned away a marriage proposal for their son from our family. This was bothering my mother a lot. But this was not the problem. They had come home to invite us for their son’s marriage and this added to my mother’s list of worrying. “Amma ,it is fine, what is wrong now?. We will find another match for me . Just forget it.” I said. Instinctively she responded “ No, It can not be left like that. We have to find a better boy than him . We have to show them that they were wrong rejecting us.We have to live before them successfully”. “Fine! that is she”, I thought.

Though I left my mother with her thoughts, the words she told kept bothering me. I did feel a sense of encouragement in her words but still I felt she missed something. Few hours later when I told the incident to my friend she did not stop to give me a pep talk. “You have to prove to them that you’re a good girl and they missed you” were the last few words of her motivational speech. At the end I did not feel motivated but it left me with many questions. PROVE TO THEM? FOR WHAT?. Rejecting a marriage proposal is quite common. It happens. Why in the world should I prove myself to them for that?Added, proving to some one whom I do not even know? What was everybody trying to tell me?. When I turned the questions inwards, I realized.

People in the world did not seem to live for themselves, but for others. It is not a race,but a competition. The happiness was when they win others not them. But what were there ultimately trying to prove?That they are good? Rich? Nice?. What are they going to do by knowing your rich ,smart,nice,beautiful or whatever. In this fast pace life, No one has time to think. So why you?Why should I prove him that I have a higher profile than him? I would spend all my life in tiresome drudgery leaving all my happiness behind to prove to him while he would enjoy with his wife ?I would leave away all my dreams and love to prove to him?He would not even think of me? But again why should he think of me? It is his life, a race with himself and not a competition with me. Mine and his’ are totally different ways.

People live as they want to be ,what seems right to them. There is no good,no bad.People learn life and depart as they want to be.We came here with a purpose . A purpose that our soul wants to. Listen to it .If people do not like you that is their problem,not yours. If you want to prove to someone, PROVE TO YOUR SOULS! Nothing than your company for you. J

It is all about values.!!

Marriages are said to be made in heaven and when you bond with the one whom you love it is an extra more feel of heaven and happiness. Love marriages, the so called western style of marriage is almost becoming a trend. More than a trend ,it is a right for a human to marry a person whom he/she loves-It is the very truth of nature. Nature is love and parents being against love is being against nature, but why are they?.

A deeper look at ancient culture and tradition. A woman was respected and the portrayal of girly image of god proves that. Women were believed to be fragile and so man was responsible to protect her. The father of the princess was to choose the man who would protect his daughter at any cost. The Woman being brought up indoors is not much aware of life. All she is taught is about the way she has to keep herself happy and keep her man happy. The couple once married had their own duties to perform. The girl did not interfere or do his work nor was her responsibility to do it and viceversa. As time flew, Men had a notion that girls were not capable of doing anything other than households and women had a belief that men had no capability of taking care of households. Yes, life in a way, is a competition. So ,the two genders wanted to prove to eachother. Women learned to work and men learned to do households. The rest is History.

In short, Women became more educated and equal to men.

Yet one did not change and will not – Men’s attitude towards women and men’s attitude towards men. They think women can be protected only by men and the man should be liked by him. This very attitude shows a father from disapproving his daughter’s choice. He can not believe that his daughter can make a good choice and the answer they give is “You girls do not know about guys”. Yes, martians know about martians . But if Venusians can come out of their home and show themselves par with men , why can’t they know more about martians?

Religion.Caste, status are all issues that parents think about. But at the end , parents doubt their daughter’s choice. They are scared of all the rumors they hear about a girl being tortured, harassed and broken. They are scared about their princess’s happiness. They believe a man of their choice will not create problems and even if he does, it can be solved while their girl’s choice will create problems and end up in divorce. Yes, divorces in India have been increasing. Parents do have all the negative notion about love marriages.Fine.. Now, all the elders, just relax and lets think.

If your daughter has the power to divorce a guy whom she had been loving will she not divorce a guy whom she never have seen? Or is it a assurance that the guy you choose will not divorce your daughter? What if he does not obey their parent’s words or your words ? What if the your girls choice was the best choice?A coin has both dark and bright sides. At the end of the day it is the character of the individual. The values he holds, The respect he has and same for your daughter.

Teach your children values and true love. Trust them. Doubting on them is doubting you. J